PARENTAL TEAMWORK: Or, "No, Look at Meeeee!!"
I know, I know, I promised to transition to specific behavioral scenarios, but I just now thought of some thing, We need to pause for this important public announcement about an item that impedes Leadership COORDINATION, Then we will return to denigrating your own Parental philosophy and strategies (usually lack of, heh, heh). The GREAT IMPEDIMENT (much of which I have discussed in "Manhood Agonistes") is the vile, toxic Feminism that lurks in the heart, mind, soul, and subconscience of many, MANY modern Mommies. The greatest victims of this horrendously tempting trend, are, you guessed it, YOUR KIDDOS!
No, this is not a political screed. But do listen up because, yes, we ARE, once again, about to blame Mommy for much of the collapse of healthy parenting in today's America. Abigail Shier who wrote "Bad Therapy" won't be as hard-hitting on the femes as this Old MAN, but perhaps she might if she didn't really want you to read her book all the way through. Me? 'meh'.....Hang on, hang on Ladies, hear me out, hang up your deafening Feminism for a few minutes, and for a change, allow some new information to enter into your consideration.
This Ol' Doc observed an enlightening scene that is particularly illustrative. Two grown men are conversing, and let's just use a Father-in-law/ Son-in-law scenario. They are discussing a matter of Galactic importance, like say, what time do we smoke a cigar, or when is UFC-o'clock? The children are playing in the same room, and Mommy sits in close proximity breast-feeding. As kids are wont to do, the play degenerates into annoying whining, grab-ass, bickering, and tugs-of-war. Tough to continue Adult talk in this environ. What happens?
Suddenly, in a shocking display of real parenting teamwork, Mommy REGULATES on the kiddies, squashes their crescendoing kid-war, the combatants settle, decibel level recedes and the Men can continue their vital discussion, UNINTERRUPTED. Some instructive items literally erupt from this simple, rarely-spotted scenario (like a Snow Leopard sighting), that most of you gals will resent. This exemplary Mommy is a "betrayal" to empowered Woman", and a "brainwashed, slavish" Mother. to boot. Admit it girls, the above description is causing a conniption fit in YOU. Cuu-mon, admit it. You know simply the idea of ANYTHING related to Men communicating with other Men without your supervision annoys the crap out of you.
Second, you gals are pissed because you didn't get a description here of the Mommy loudly bludgeoning into the conversation to shine some of the attention on herself, which is the overriding purpose of Feminism, in the main. "Look at me, LOOK AT ME (first)!" "I know just as much about cigars as men do; I know just as much about UFC....about real estate, about taxes, about finance, about politics, about child rearing, about even MANHOOD for goodness sake!" And third, you know it is your duty as "A Women, Hear me Roar", to not allow any Man to even appear to know more than you, EVEN IF YOUR ATTEMPTS AT CONVERSATIONAL PARITY MAKE YOU LOOK EVEN MORE IGNORANT THAN YOU REALLY ARE.
So, what's the problem, you might ask? What's the big deal? Well my brainwashed Femes, here it is: You are contemptuous the innate, great ability you possess -- and that is the natural ability to Care and Feeding Healthy Children and Family. You are putting your political and social engineering "Hear me Roar" bullshit, ahead of the welfare of the peaceful. secure, and healthy grooming of the kiddos. Oh yes you are! Because, while you are busy shoving your way into the Male conversation, you are taking your eyes OFF OF THE NOW UNSUPERVISED KIDDOS. Yeah, their behavior goes from boisterous to destructive. They starting breaking things, engaging is sibling violence, and if you are guests somewhere, your precious babies are causing great angst amongst your hosts.
Yeah, YOUR KIDS ARE BREAKING {{{ THEIR }}} SHIT! While you are taking your eyes off the ball competing with Daddy, your little Monsters are run-a-muck! And guess what? Your HOSTS, your friends, or Uncles and Aunts must now parent YOUR kids, i.e., assume YOUR responsibilities, And that is a REAL problem because 1) that diminishes these proxy-parent's own enjoyment of the event at hand, and 2) if you recoil and are offended at the desperate commands or punitive measures delivered by the proxy-parent, well, you have just compounded a real-life Kobiashi Maru -- the impossible scenario. You cut the proxy-parent's authority legs off, then smugly get back to your bloviating. You would rather regain the spotlight, lest Daddy get more attention. In the meantime, your brats have just received the following message, LOUD AND CLEAR -- Mommy has just given us the Green light to ignore the proxy-parents and escalate our obnoxious and destructive behavior!
OK gals, let me ease up on your parental neglect for a quick minute. On the other hand, if Mommy is having a chat with The Girls, and this time Daddy busts in on the feminine discussion with his own take on breastfeeding or time-outs, or feelings, or meddling Mother-in-laws, or the best drapes for the living room, well that is incredibly stupid also. And rude. And disgusting. But again, as Daddy stupidly virtue signals his, uh, virtue, the kiddies are unsupervised as their behavior degenerates, and everyone else suffers. Now, none of this is to imply that Mommy and Daddy are not allowed to enjoy co-ed roundtables themselves, of course. But when YOUR kiddies are present, for gosh's sake, between your four eyeballs, you have got to keep at least two on them at all times, que no?
Otherwise, the kids grow up recognizing the clearly designated Sanctuary zones. "Oh they NEEEE-VER behave this badly at home!" you piteously defend. Yeah, but at the guest's residence, the market, the restaurant, or in church, the kid's rapidly learn that you are not watching, and you will certainly not risk the disapproval of onlookers by chastising the opportunistic brats in their presence. Thus, "whoopee, LET'S ENGAGE IN VIOLENCE AGAINST ONE ANOTHER, WHILE BREAKING THINGS!"
Back to the gals.....Feminism has made you gals regard homemaking, childrearing, support for your husband, courtesy and humility as detrimental to your ultimate mission -- the mission that drives you to compete and ultimately DOMINATE men. Never mind that it makes you an obnoxious, selfish, self-centered bit -- ah, individual. The most critical result is not even that you train your Man to be an atesticular eunuch. The worst is that your kids grow up raised by Man-Mommy and Mommy-Man, both incredibly destructive "role" models. Your kiddos suffer immeasurably as a result of this tug-of-war. They get confused, lose respect for dumbass Daddy and Cruela Deville Mommy, and then eventually get very angry, and they very often reach adulthood not knowing why they are so resentful and angry at their "loving, everything I did was for you" parents. You thus have a generation of young adults running around still acting-out and championing the most ludicrous nonsense, and doing so with insane rage.. Exaggeration? Uh....
My point is that Feminism is ANTI-teamwork. It is competition, Women vs. Men. It is I, Me, Mine in spades. Feminism regards discipline as a bad word, more masculine toxicity, and stuff. Close supervision is neglected. "My kiddos simply MUST be perfect, since I am perfect (Hear me Roar), and they reflect my perfection. If you disagree, then YOU have the problem, you tight ass, Nazi!" Yeah, that's what the parents of insufferably arrogant brats retort as you try to explain why these little "Angels" cause so much undesirable chaos. You hear excuse after excuse after lame excuse about how the kiddies are not horrible little criminals but actually "free spirits", and really, really smart -- their parents, teachers test scores and therapists say so, honest!"
Sure, two parents who MUST work a job is a fact of economic life today, a necessity for most. But this only means you have to try even harder to work as a loving team, settling responsibilities and committing to doing your role on the team, for the kids. Remember? FOR THE KIDS? If Pop needs to work a lot of hours, Mommy should teach the kids that he is doing it for the sake of Mommy and their collective welfare. Stop with the "he's never there for us" horseshit. A good TEAM member does not shit-talk a teammate, right? A good teammate, rolls up her sleeve and takes care of the kids with sacrifice, with good cheer, with humility, with gratitude, and with love. RIGHT? However, in the name of parenting, is it REALLY possible to teach the kids these qualities, unless you demonstrate them by your actions? Likely? Maybe sometimes, but do you really want treat your kids as roulette tables? The effective attitude is for Mommy to admire Daddy's sacrifices, and hard work. A much more positive family morale is thus cultivated. Remember, if you say YOU are WORRIED about the kids not seeing a lot of Daddy, remember that Daddy is working his ass off worried about actually FEEDING the kids.
Do not be jealous of Daddy because he does NOT change diapers, prepare meals, clean house, teach the kids how to write their name, potty-train, and pick up their toys. Can you work 12-17 hours a day, every day at a disagreeable job for 10-40 years trying to provide for family, reach financial goals, and pay for house, clothing, transportation and higher education where applicable? If so, then maybe you CAN exchange roles, YOU can now work your ass off every day for years, come home and mow the lawn, take out the trash, handle punishment of kids, and change the car's oil -- and Daddy can switch to being Mr. Mom. Maybe you can make that work, but it still needs requires teamwork, compassion, respect, gratitude, humility and love. Make it work either way, but still -- ONE OF YOU NEEDS TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE CHILDREN AT ALL TIMES. Unless you want arrogant shits for kids who can't stay married, drift from therapist to therapist, and raise cats the rest of their lives. In that case, do what you have always done -- ignore, belittle and discard -- rinse and repeat.
The point is, whatever your particular economic needs are; whatever division of labor you decide on; or whatever your individual talents and income generating abilities are -- you simply have got to PRIORITIZE the welfare of you offspring at all times. They are not like little puppies who can easily be replaced if they dig holes, bark too much or bite the neighbor kids. YOUR poorly raised kids will be the bane of your entire life, not to mention that of their community and nation, IF you place them a distant fourth behind your social life, your toenails or your hair, you will wonder what hit you by the time they are teenagers, and physically able to kick your ass, and you will have everlasting 3 a.m. insomnia, wondering where it all went wrong. Or may not.
But do not be too sure about that "maybe not" part.....Make teamwork a corollary to your Parental Leadership plan. Tag team the kids to exacting standards while at home, and especially too while out and about. BOTH of you need to be alert to the kids manners such as the yes ma'ams, no sirs, the pleases, the thank yous, the prayers, the elderly respect, the handshake, the helpfulness, the homework, etc, etc. NEVER foist their poor behavior and comportment on the neighbors, family, friends, the school, or {{{ the Mental Health professional}}}.
Yeah, we've focused on you Girls again, mostly. Men are not the greatest homemakers, Do NOT make Men do things they are not DNA-endowed to do very well. Have compassion for your Kiddos, and give Daddy a break. Take charge of your kids discipline and punishment needs when you can. Stop pretending you are helpless, or that it is all Daddy's fault. YOU have been endowed by DNA for child-rearing. That is why you have a UTERUS, and bre....., well you know what I mean. Think biology. And Daddy? Grow a pair my friend. Your family needs that.
No more charades. Stay in your lane. Teamwork You won't regret it. And remember girls.....
---- DOC
